The Woman Down the Street

I knew a man some years ago; I think it would be accurate to refer to him as a friend. Well, one day, he sort of announced to me that he was thinking of leaving his wife. It seems that he had been keeping company with a woman who lived down the street and had told his wife that he was moving in with the woman. Furthermore, he told his wife that if the new relationship didn't pan out, he would simply come back home.

Now that is the situation, more or less that was described to me. Admittedly, I think my major regret about the whole situation personally, is that I didn't confront my friend and tell him how out of line he was.

To continue the tale, the new relationship didn't work out, but there never was a return home to his wife. I guess you could say their relationship had been, shall we say, strained. "Surprise, surprise!"

He did find another woman, though, who would marry him. They have a relationship that has continued for some years and seem quite content and even have a number of offspring. His first wife also remarried, but the relationship with the new husband is, in my opinion, cold. The two seem to have fallen on hard times and the relationship appears to be in a downward spiral.

Now, you might say, "That is one of the craziest things I've ever heard!" I would agree. Still, I'm shocked, though not surprised, to see this scenario played out on a fairly regular basis. You say, "Really? Where?" Ever so sadly, I see it, as I saw this one, in a Baptist pulpit. This is where I see it over and over.

Yes, I confess, this was not literally a husband and wife, but a pastor and a congregation. It was my pastor and I sat dumbfounded on the third pew when he said that he was talking to another church, "with a view to a move." How opaque can you get? I didn't even understand what in the world that meant! He was saying that, although he was currently our pastor, he was being courted by, or was courting, another congregation. He just wanted to let us know publicly and that he might or might not be resigning. Sheesh!

Well, he did resign and take on the newer, ah-hem, larger church out of town, but his pastorate there was short-lived. He soon left, under what circumstances I don't know, returning to his home town. He soon accepted a call to another church and, interestingly enough, the church seems to be very busy and growing.

The previous church hired another young seminary graduate and since the several years he has been there, the congregation has sunk to about a quarter of what it was when he was hired. Deacons and long-time, active members have left. Still, his name does show up in our Associational Minutes on a regular basis heading up one or another county or out of county ministries. Hmmm.

So, what's my point? My point is that, from what I gather, especially among seminary educated preacher's, pastoring has become a vocation and not an avocation. They are being taught to hang on to a church until they have another to go to, no matter what the damage done to the congregation. Furthermore, they're taught that it's perfectly legitimate to court one church while pastoring another.

You may ask, "What are they supposed to do? Resign without knowing where they will go to next, if anywhere?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

My father, who was a well respected pastor and led many souls into the Kingdom, understood that when God says it's time to go, it's time to go. He was never fortunate enough to pastor full-time, so he always had to work a regular jog to feed four growing boys and what little money he received from a congregation would have been no more than supplemental at best. His philosophy was, stay until you do what God wants, then let the next pastor do the same. In other words, trust God. Pretty radical, I know.

My brother who is also a Baptist pastor and "tent-maker" as they call "part-time" pastors today, has received some questions from other preachers upon their learning that he had resigned one church without having another lined up. When he told them, "God said it was time to go," some would look at him as if he had two heads! (Incidentally, no good pastor is part-time, only his pay is part-time.)

I fear that our seminaries and colleges are graduating too many young men who are more interested in having a job that they think is an good alternative to physical labor or punching a clock and less about following God's will. We hold our pastors in high esteem for the sacrifices they make for God and their congregations, but upon closer examination many of their salaries, fringe benefits and retirement packages, some are not sacrificing so much.

I hope the parallel is clear that many pastors are treating their churches as a wives of convenience who are to support them until they find something they deem as a bigger, better deal. Pastors are, after a fashion, husbands to their congregations and, in my never to be humble opinion, flirting with another body is adultery in one of its ugliest forms. How can their be stability in the home or the local church when the leader has wandering eyes and a roving heart?

I've no doubt that most of these men have a yearning to serve the Lord, but that yearning is often misunderstood as a call to preach and pastor. So many are of the mind set that the only way to serve God is to "surrender to the call." There are too many out of place and that is why they are easily swayed and mislead by those who do not teach them that the call of God is a call to self-sacrifice. The damage by poor shepherds who feel no obligation to the sheep, but only desire money, comfort, honor and/or a platform to vent is immeasurable.

John 10

1Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.

2But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.

3To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.

4And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.

5And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.

6This parable spake Jesus unto them: but they understood not what things they were which he spake unto them.

7Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep.

8All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them.

9I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.

10The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

11I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

12But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep.

13The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep.

14I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

15As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.

Noisy Saints in Church

This post is not for sinners; it's for the saved. Specifically, the noisy saints who meet to worship each Sunday.

No, I'm not talking about those who may shout the praises or cry out "amen" when the pastor makes an especially outstanding point. I'm not talking about those who sing loudly in the choir or congregation or clap their hands when the beat of the music is really peppy.

I'm talking about those who think they are in the high school gymnasium during a basketball practice scrimmage and carry on conversations that never seem to end and go on and on through the entire service. Like those who are poking and prodding and flirting and cavorting with their boyfriends and girlfriends.

I'm talking about those who give their children anything to play with that's noisier than a pencil and piece of paper. The ones who give them rustling bags of crunchy food for snacks as if the child will starve to death without food for an hour, (not to mention the adults who go so far as to devour the snacks themselves.)

I'm talking about the ones whose child decides, like clockwork every Sunday, ten minutes into the pastors sermon, to start screaming and pitching fits and carries on like a wild animal for the next twenty minutes. Still, the parent will sit and fuss and fight with the toddler, saying, "shush" forty times, (as if the child wouldn't behave after the first twenty shushes, so try twenty more.)

I'm talking about the saints of God who just seem to think that everyone is as charmed by their noisy, rude child as they are. They think that four or five trips to the bathroom by their youngster goes unnoticed by the rest of the congregation. They seem to think that sinners can or will listen intently to the pastor even through some wild child's incessant tantrums.

Most churches have nurseries and Godly saints who gladly volunteer to baby-sit so that parents can worship and sinners can listen without the distraction of restless, spoiled brats. Yes, I'm aware that my language is strong, but lazy, disinterested, detached parents are the ones who inspire my feelings.

I know we all live in a world where courtesy is an archaic idea and taking pride in rudeness and being inconsiderate of others is the norm rather than the exception. Politeness today is laughable rather than laudable. Maybe it's time that Christian parents were more aware that we could be detouring sinners from the Good News they need to hear.

If a sound system causes a little feed-back during worship, we sometimes say, some more serious than others, that's it's the devil. Do the same people think that when they are "playing hands," flirting, munching, wrestling, getting up and down, chasing kids, rattling bags and causing a deafening cacophony of noise? Does the worship of an almighty, holy God require no more concentration than that?

Now, don't get me wrong. If I have only the two choices of noisy children at church or at home, I'll take them at church without a moment's hesitation. Yet, I know we can do better...if we care.

In a world where everyone who chooses simply to not pay attention is excused as having some "disease," we make excuses for what amounts to rudeness at best and, at worst, sin. No one is at fault for anything today and there is aways some excuse for what is simply bad behaviour.

So, show a little courtesy...that's all I ask. Might it be that the soul of a sinner is on the line?

Mea Culpa

It's my fault! It's not your fault; it's not my neighbors fault; it's not the government's fault; it's definitely not God's fault. I've been a jack ass!

I've done things in my life that I am so ashamed of that I shudder when they cross my mind. They haunt me in the still of the night when I should be sleeping the sleep of the righteous. I awaken in the morning and they are sometimes the first thing to leap into my mind. I wretch when they rear their ugly heads.

I wish I could say it was someone else's fault. I'd love to look back on my life and say, "At least, I didn't do..." Yet, I did. I'd like to think that there are some things that are beneath me. It would be nice to believe that I only imagined these things, but I know they are real.

There are people I've known in my life that I used and abused through no fault of their own. If I had been any kind of man, I would not have hurt them. I've heard that AA requires their people to go to everyone they've hurt and apologize. That's not an avenue that I, coward that I am, am prepared to take.

My Daddy always tried to teach me that you can lose an entire life of confidence with one stupid move. If the one you hurt never, ever trusts you again, you have no one to blame but yourself. Is it hard? Is it tough? Is it even fair? I suppose so. Still, that's just the way it is, like it or not!


I've done the excuses and what Bishop T.D. Jakes calls a "Yeah, But Card." I would blame every body, including God, but me. I'd think, "It's not my fault I'm in this situation. God could have saved me from my stupid mistakes, but He didn't." What a fool! I'm supposed to make a mess and God is supposed to clean it up?

I hope that I have repented of my sins. (Or is that am repenting?) I hope that I am a better man than I once was. I'd like to think so.

I can't go back and fix it. If there really was a way to repay the ones I hurt and make it right, I suppose I would. Though, I really wouldn't want to stir up those old ghosts again.

The only thing that I can do is try to live the kind of life today that says that I've changed and, perhaps, even matured. I can do my best to live in a manner that says that that old beast is gone, or at least, more or less, in submission. I can only attempt to have the kind of consistency in my life that says that I am not the boy I used to be. Maybe, someday, I will be a man...a Godly man. That is my greatest hope.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, in my own cowardly way, that if I hurt you or someone you care about...I'm truly, deeply, sorry. I apologize. I want you to know that I'm still far from perfect...very, very, very far! Yet, I hope I'm right when I say I've grown up quite a bit over the years. I certainly wouldn't even think about doing or saying some of the things I was doing some years ago.

Lastly, it is my hope that someone who knew me then and knows me now, if my time on earth were through, their final thought of me would be that I ended better than I started. I hope they believe I really did make a change and closed my life as a man who, at least, sincerely tried to be a better man.

I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, but maybe, by the Grace of God, you'll even go so far as to forgive me...maybe.