Losing Someone
We are too often little help to the bereaved. We try to stop the tears. We offer hollow platitudes. We quote scriptures that, somehow, seem to ring hollow.
We do very little listening. Mostly, we talk to them about our own experiences rather than listening to what they want to say about theirs. We, many of us, actually interrupt them in mid-sentence to relate some little anecdote about our own loss rather than being the attentive ear that they need at that moment.
Why is it that many try to stop the grieving process? I've seen those who try to "brighten the world" of the broken hearted. They tell them, "Don' cry. It'll be alright." (The cads!)
It's not that some people are purposely mean or self-centered. Most just don't realize because they haven't thoughtfully consider what they are doing.
With too many, it's more about us than about them. It's more about avoiding their own pain rather than helping the dispossessed work through theirs. We don't give them time or space.
It's not always about what we say. It's much more about what we do. Will we be patient and empathising with those who are experiencing the trials of life? Will we sit by their side in silence offering only the comfort of being there if that is what they need?
No, it's not all about me. It's about the one who is hurting and perhaps needs nothing more than to be held.
Lastly, if it was proper for Jesus to weep at the tomb of Lazurus, it is most certainly appropriate for us to weep at the loss of our dearest loved ones. Remember, it's o.k. to cry.
John 11
32Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
33When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.
34And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
35Jesus wept.
36Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!
We do very little listening. Mostly, we talk to them about our own experiences rather than listening to what they want to say about theirs. We, many of us, actually interrupt them in mid-sentence to relate some little anecdote about our own loss rather than being the attentive ear that they need at that moment.
Why is it that many try to stop the grieving process? I've seen those who try to "brighten the world" of the broken hearted. They tell them, "Don' cry. It'll be alright." (The cads!)
It's not that some people are purposely mean or self-centered. Most just don't realize because they haven't thoughtfully consider what they are doing.
With too many, it's more about us than about them. It's more about avoiding their own pain rather than helping the dispossessed work through theirs. We don't give them time or space.
It's not always about what we say. It's much more about what we do. Will we be patient and empathising with those who are experiencing the trials of life? Will we sit by their side in silence offering only the comfort of being there if that is what they need?
No, it's not all about me. It's about the one who is hurting and perhaps needs nothing more than to be held.
Lastly, if it was proper for Jesus to weep at the tomb of Lazurus, it is most certainly appropriate for us to weep at the loss of our dearest loved ones. Remember, it's o.k. to cry.
John 11
32Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
33When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.
34And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
35Jesus wept.
36Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!
posted by The Preacher's Kid | 9:25 AM
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