How to Start Your Own Cult

I've heard it said that there have been more religions started since the founding of America than were so in all of previous history. Further, even more in the last century. Now, I haven't researched these particulars, but it seems, given mere empirical evidence, to make sense.

Most of those religions are what a run-of-the-mill Christian would refer to as cults. I suppose "cult" is in the eye of the beholder, but it might simply be described as a group who has taken a hard turn form the traditional tenets of Christianity, who separate themselves from others and who view themselves as the end-all & be-all and everyone else as apostates.


There are many, many cults around the world. They worship a plethora of gods and/or men. They preach paganism, reincarnation, extra-terrestrial interaction, spirit connections and more. I am mostly thinking along the lines of starting a cult that would be on the outer-edges of the main-stream concepts of God as Supreme Being and as involved in some way with us. I'm thinking of those who would assimilate enough pseudo-orthodoxy, even if only an infinitesimal amount, to seem to be related somehow to what one my call Judeo-Christian soteriology.

Now, I've often pondered, as the man said, what exactly would be involved in "starting my own church with my own sound doctrine." Starting your own thing isn't really all that hard to do, it seems. I've often quipped that I could stand on any street corner in American, proclaim myself as Christ, God and/or Satan and I would gain three or four disciples johnny-on-the-spot!

So, I ask myself, what would be some of the essentials for starting my own cult? Although not everything that appears here would apply to every "cult," I think that this list would be consistent with most of them, "Christian" or otherwise, observed in our world today.

1. First and foremost: Get rid of that pesky divinity of Christ!

It's okay to revere Jesus as a prophet, good man, teacher or even miracle worker, but He must not be seen as truly God in the flesh.

You will find this view common among Muslims, Mormons, Jehovah's Witness and a multitude of others. Most presumptive Trinitarians, e.g. Catholics, Southern Baptists, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, neither understand on any primary level or actually preach true Trinitarianism.

2. Start it yourself...because God told you to do so.

Many, many cults/churches/denominations/religions were founded by men, rarely women, who proclaimed personal revelation from God, communicated to them and them alone. Mohammed, Joseph Smith and many more, asserted that God approached them directly, giving them knowledge, understanding and divination that He had granted no one else.

Alas, few men or women are willing to put themselves under the authority of anyone, let alone a local congregation. Many become disgruntled, disenfranchised and/or discarded from their congregations. Some acquire delusions of grandeur and convince themselves that they, in spite of the myriad of congregations, ministries and charities already in existence, should begin an all new mission to save the lost, feed the poor or just simply return truth to a world of sleeping Christians who have, in their minds, erred from it.

Some are sincere; some are insincere. Some are deluded; some are insane. Some are conniving; some are more open about their goals. Some, quite frankly, are just too lazy to work.

3. Declare yourself to be the only truth and that all others must join you to obtain salvation.

Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, etc. The list is near endless of those who believe they have a monopoly on salvation.

4. Declare that all other Christians, religions, etc., have become apostate and that you, after centuries of error, have now found the truth of God.

This is easily applied to most of the aforementioned groups, but could even be applied to groups like the Pentecostals who, as begun by preachers Charles Parham & A.J. Tomlinson, taught that the Church of Christ had become apostate and this movement was to bring "church restoration" through "Apostolic" Scriptural teaching.

Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Smith certainly taught that they had received Divine Revelation that no one had for centuries and they were the only true disciples of Christ.

5. Declare yourself to be Christ reincarnated.

Sun Myung Moon, David Koresh, Charles Manson, Jim Jones and a host of others have made this claim.

6. Declare yourself to be the mouthpiece and only spokesman for the Almighty.

Mohammed, Moon, Smith, Russell, et al. Sometimes, the declaration is enough. It impresses people. As the saying goes, the bigger the lie the more willing the gullible will be to accept it.

People don't like to think. It's painful for them. There are a plethora of sheep out there just waiting for a wolf to come along to guide them. They seem to never consider that they are nothing more than supper to him.

7. Quote the Holy Bible...a lot!

Use the parts that seem to prove that your claims, however outlandish, are supported by Holy Scriptures. Context is irrelevant.

Tyrants, cultists, heathens and atheists love to cite the Holy Bible. They suppose it gives credence to their assertions. They shrewdly understand the importance of quoting this book abundantly since it is accepted as authority by so many and actually studied by so few.

A certain local Independent Baptist preacher lead his remaining congregants to reject the divinity of Christ and become, in his word, "Noahides." (Yes, that was how he spelled it.) He rejected Christ, but for months afterward, he would post Jesus' quotes from the four Gospels on the marquee in front of his former, uh, church.

8. Adopt bizarre rituals and practices and/or adopt new and outlandish views and/or applications of the sacraments.

"Christen," barely wetting the forehead of a convert, or infant, and call it baptism. Require converts to be baptized using specific words or names. Be baptized repeatedly to "wash away sin." Be baptized for your family, friends or strangers, living or dead. Require men and women to dress peculiarly. Claim constant miracles, for example: healings, transubstantiations, tongues, visions. Fill your congregants with feelings of guilt and unworthiness concerning the sacraments, thus ensuring their malleability and subservience.

Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Pentecostals, Charismatics, Churches of Christ and a host of others have taken the sacraments, baptism and the Lord's Supper, and twisted them into what they were never meant to be. They have even multiplied the sacraments, attached them to salvation and or/holiness and sanctification.

9. Adopt a fascinating and complicated eschatology.

Jehovah's Witness, Adventists, et al., have repeatedly attempted to pick a year, if not a specific date, for our Lord's return. They, of course, repeatedly get it wrong, but they provide convoluted explanations for their error and their indoctrinated, brain-washed parishioners gladly drink the kool-aid.

A congregation that is investing its precious time, energy and recourses in endless eschatological studies is altogether allowing itself to be diverted from the Great Commission given by Christ to His Church: that She baptize converts in His name and make them into His disciples.

10. Uniformity and Conformity

No dissenters! Everyone must goose-step to the beat of the same drum!

In a true cult, you can speak with any member of the cult, (even if that cult is nationwide or international,) asking questions about their beliefs and you will find consistency from member to member. Any deviation will be suppressed, purely accidental or the fault of a backslidden, (out of practice/study,) parishioners.

Mainstream Christian denominations are not immune to the temptation to enforce lockstep among their congregants. Anyone who has observed the takeover of the Southern Baptist Convention by Fundamentalists over the last few decades will realize that even those who once preached salvation by grace alone and the priesthood of the believer can fall prey to the siren call of coerced control and conformity.

11. Change some of the particulars of universally accepted doctrine/history.

It serves the establishment of a new cult to adopt most of the acknowledged stories of the Bible, but differentiate between your cult and others by putting enough twists and turns in them that will make them your own. This will also, of course, separate it from the more main-stream religions and denominations. Even better, it will garner the attention of those, and they are legion, who are constantly seeking to have their ears tickled with a new thing.

The Muslims accept Christ as a virgin born prophet, but claim he was born before the Baptist and that He was actually not crucified. (They also have some strange views concerning Isaac, Ishmael and Abraham.) The Jehovah's Witnesses accept the crucifixion, but say there was no cross-beam and that he was merely nailed to a pole. They also use the term "resurrection," not to refer to the literal bodily quickening of our Lord, but to His earthly body being actually replaced by a Glorified Body. The Mormons believe that Jesus is God's Son, but that God Himself, being no more than a superman, came to Mary and sired Jesus as any other child born would have been, thus rejecting the virgin birth they sing about every Christmas. (Not to mention making our Lord's mother an adultress.)

12. Grant authority to people and things that cannot bear the weight of it.

Call the Holy Bible the "Word of God." Treat it as if it is the fourth Person in the Trinity. Call the Pope the "Vicar of Christ." Say that bread and wine can literally become the Body and Blood of Christ. Say that olive oil purchased from the shelf of your local Bible book store, (or even the local grocery,) can bring about miracles when "anointing" a believer. Claim deacons have any authority at all in the church. Pray to deceased saints and angels.

It's easy to imagine things or people as holy when the Bible even speaks of "holy ground" and teaches that we should be holy like our Father in Heaven. Still, authority rests with no man or thing, but with the Bride and the Bridegroom. (Yes, there is a certain authority granted the Bride of Christ as with any wife of a husband. Remember, the authority derives from Her relationship with the Spouse.)

The cultist generally denies that the ultimate authority in the Church of Christ resides in the Person of the Holy Ghost. They inculcate that "authority" rests with a leader, council or presbytery of some sort. They seem to want the Holy Ghost to share authority with them.

13. Adopt heroes from other religions.

Muslims revere Adam, to Noah, to Abraham, to David, to Christ. They have angels and even Satan. Strangely, though, they claim Ishmael was the son nearly sacrificed by Abraham rather than Isaac.

Inserting commonly known characters from accepted religions lends a universality and pseudo-credence to a denomination or faction that, if it were too far removed from the main stream, it might lack. Familiarity doesn't always breed contempt. Sometimes, it makes a thing or group appear more comfortable and acceptable.

As I have stated, this list certainly doesn't include every earmark and all need not apply for an organization to qualify as a "cult." Frankly, Christianity itself, depending on your viewpoint, would almost certainly qualify a cult itself.
　

Even More Ways to Spot a Fundamentalist

1. They believe there was no Bible before 1611

2. They have an enormous chip on their shoulder

3. They believe the King James Bible is the "Mind of Christ."

4. They will say the Bible warns against changing the words of the Bible, then they'll change those words, but say they are right to do so.

5. They worship Jesus, not Jesus Christ!

6. They think Jesus existed in Heaven before the manger.

7. They think God, (they don't think about Christ,) is more loyal to Israel than to His Church/Bride.

8. They can't find the Bride of Christ in the Bible.

9. They don't really believe in the Bride of Christ.

10. They think Jesus is God.

Remember, not all of these apply in every case, but only act as flags to point toward these aabrasive people.

Crazy Ex-Wife

Imagine ladies, that you meet your husband somewhere publicly, and, as you embrace the love of your life, somehow, you notice his eyes are not closed, as yours are, in full enjoyment of the moment. Worse yet, you notice he seems distracted and distant. You can feel that he's not hugging and holding you the same way you are him. Even worse, you open your eyes and look in his face to find that his eyes are wandering and, moreover, wandering to someone else. Then, just when you think it can't get any worse, you notice that the “someone else” is his ex-wife.

Now, depending on how brave and brassy or shy and timid you are, you might confront him. You might question why he was looking at her while holding you. Depending on how fast he is on his feet, he might possibly respond with some paltry excuses about her merely being in his line of sight or that she looked at him first.

Then, depending how good he is at deception or how gullible you are, you might walk away from this incident feeling more or less secure. Also, it might be greatly dependent how good he is at lying or how good you are at lying to yourself.

Then, some while later, when you thought this little episode is a thing of the past, you stumble on the two of them, your husband and his “ex.” You see him looking, what can only be called, longingly into her eyes. Frozen in terror of what this appears to be, joined with hope that it is anything but, you stand, watching and listening to these two former lovers.

“You know, I haven't forgotten you or how beautiful you are. Yes, I'm married to someone else, but I remember you. I haven't forgotten you. I even have a plan so that you and I can be together one day. You, my new wife and myself. Yes, it'll just be the three of us. We'll be so happy together. I promise you! Just be patient. I know I put you away for her, but you will be with me again. I haven't forgotten my original promises to you. I'll keep them all!”
 

Your stomach becomes Gordian knot as he continues.
 

“And don't worry. She'll understand. I'm sure that, once I explain how important you were to me and how much I loved you and how I just can't abandon you or forget you or our vows, she'll understand. She's a very understanding person.”

About now, a million thoughts are rushing through your mind! Your head is swimming and your feeling woozy and dizzy. Among the numerous thoughts jumping into your consciousness are the many, many stories your husband told you about her. About all the fussing and the fighting. About how unfaithful she was! About all the men! About how she wasted all of his possessions! About the disrespect! About how crazy she is!
 

As you try to catch your breath and still your reeling mind, you see him slowly walk away from this melodrama. You turn your head in an attempt to prove, against hope, that the insanity you saw happen, did not actually happen. As you do, you note that the “ex” wags her head with a dark look of contempt in her eyes for her former, forlorn lover. You feel certain, though said lowly, you see the words form on her lips, “How pathetic.” Yes, it seems neither of them have changed their feelings for one another.
 

Now, this is the scene of lunacy I have painted for you. I'm sure you're thinking, there is no way any self-respecting wife would tolerate this! Yes, I would agree. Still, ever so sadly, this is the view of the average Baptist/Fundamentalist regarding the Bride of Christ and Israel.
 

Without delving too deeply in the fact that Baptists today neither can identify the Groom or Bride, most, in reality, believe in neither. If they did, they would realize that the entire Bible is a sermon about the wedding of the Bride and the Groom and that all the teaching about marriage in the Bible is by God's own design. You don't have to wonder which came first: it was the plan.
 

Still, many have a death grip on their own preconceived ideas. They hold onto, what can only be called, “Jew Worship.” Yes, they truly seem to worship the supposed recipients of the blessings of God rather than God Himself. They worship the creature rather than the Creator.
 

Now, very quickly, there is no problem with being a Jew. Also, there is no advantage.
 

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
 

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.  
 

I must've read that Scripture a hundred times over the years. One day it hit me. Jesus was taking Himself! He was trying to tell us, "I am a one woman man!"


Yet, to be a part of the crowd, to avoid the contempt of the like-minded and lock-stepped, many swallow horrid accusations against Jehovah that will not bear the weight of Scripture. Their stubbornness blinds their eyes and they ignorantly accuse the God of Heaven of no less than adultery!

Now, before you say, “Hold on a minute! I would never accuse God of anything like that!”


Wouldn’t you? Don’t you? Isn't that exactly what you are doing when you say that the Church is His Bride, but He is still in love with and pining for his first bride, Israel? Yes, she was His first love, the apple of his eye, but she was adulterous and backsliding. So, even though it broke His heart, he had to put her away. He was forced to divorce her.

I know saying that God is divorce' causes Fundamentalists to cover their ears and go, “la, la, la, la, la!” Prejudice causes the best of us to sometimes hide from the truth.
 

Jeremiah 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
 

Not to digress here, but when the Bible says, “God hates divorce,” it’s mostly because he has been through one himself. No pain like the pain you’re in!
 

Malachi 2:16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
 

Oddly enough to me, many think that our God looks lustily at His former wife, Israel, and dreams of a time when He can be with her again. He thinks of all the promises He made to her and all of the promises she made to Him and sighs with remorse. He pines away for the old days, crying over the loss of his first love, a love that betrayed Him in every way. Yes, He did divorce her, finding Himself a new love that He swore to Himself would be delivered chaste and pure to Him.
 

Revelations 21: 11 Having the glory of God…
 

Genesis 22:16 And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:　

Was the law of Moses God's ultimate plan? Was salvation and the Church an afterthought? Perhaps, Plan B? Did God not see it coming? Was he caught unawares?
 

They talk as if it was always God’s intent that Israel should be His closest love and, after she fouled it up, He had to go off and find another way. I suppose these same people think that God intended man to live forever in the Garden of Eden and, after Adam fouled that up, God had to go off and find another way. Actually, entire “Christian” denominations as well as other religions are founded on these very concepts.
 

The Church was not an afterthought! It was always God’s design to employ Israel, the Law and the failure of both to bring about the Church age. Israel, like Adam, was never intended as a permanent solution, but as a means to an end. Does that lessen God’s love for Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? No, because they too rejoiced to see His day. It was never about the branches; it has always been about the Vine.
 

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
 

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.　
　

For God to have multiple brides, is contrary to the teaching of the Holy Scriptures. Yes, God allowed multiple wives and concubines but, if you follow the trail, it was always a headache for all concerned. Many men will think more than one wife is great! But remember, more than one wife means more than one mother-in-law. Like they say, two's company, but three's a crowd!
 

Still, God like Adam, is happy with one wife at a time. Amazingly, of course, God always gets good from our evil.
 

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
 

Now, back to our adventuresome guy with the roaming eyes. He is a man who has everything he has ever longed for in the beauty, loyalty and fertility of his current glorious bride. Sadly, like some men, he thinks the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. He forgets the bad things from his earlier relationship and only remembers the lust that burned in his heart for a woman who, basically, hated him. He doesn’t think about the relationship. He only thinks about her physical splendor.

Yes, it’s true. All men are pigs!
 

Disgustingly, our little anthropomorphic egos assign attributes to God that should make our skins crawl. We think He is just like us, only bigger and stronger. You know, like Superman.

We muse, admit it or not, “After all, God does it!” We justify so much of what we believe by imputing our God with ideas and concepts that are more foreign to him than the surface of mars is to us.

Remember Esther? The woman who became queen because another, the first queen, was disobedient to her husband. You might almost defend the thought process of the former bride. She just didn’t want to be paraded before a bunch of desirous, disorderly, drunken men. On the surface, I’d agree with her point of view. I mean, what woman would want to be put in such an embarrassing situation. She was the ultimate trophy wife. Frankly, she did not care to be. Sadly, she did not realize her place in the chain of command.

Still, isn’t that what God wanted from Israel? He placed them in the best land of all, at the virtual center of the world where all mankind would have to travel through their borders. They thought He put them their so they could be spoiled and fattened and showered in His love. In actuality, it was not God’s intent that they should shut the gates to the city, locking the world away. I think he put them their to show them off to the world. He put them there that they might be a testimony to all the heathens encompassing them of the power and righteousness of God Almighty. God put them there to be missionaries!
 

Isaiah 56:7 Even them will I bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer: their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be accepted upon mine altar; for mine house shall be called an house of prayer for all people.

This new Bride of God is, like Jerusalem, a “city of peace.” Even more so, it is a new “city of peace.” It is a city that has its gates open to all points of the compass. Unlike Hell, it fears no danger of being prevailed against because the Lamb is present and He is the light of that city. Only citizens are allowed in this city and they can only be naturalized, adopted, by the edict of the King of Kings! This city contains no murderers, drunkards or liars, simply because once they are allowed in this city, they are no longer any of those!
 

Revelation 21:25 And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there.

Upon trying to explain this concept to a Fundamentalist friend of mine, his only argument was to decry, “What about the 'Tribulation?' God still has a plan for the Jews!” He even claimed desperately, “It's not a marriage like we have marriage.”

In exasperation, I asked, “Then what kind of marriage is it? God could've used any number of metaphors, but he chose marriage! But we say, it's not like 'our' marriage”?
 

What can you really say to a death grip religion like that? God on his throne can't move them! How can I?

Here Comes the Bride!

There is, sad to say, much confusion these days, as there has been for, well, probably the last century at least, concerning Biblical ecclesiology. Especially in my lifetime, the past fifty plus years, it has only waxed worse. Even the SBC itself has become embroiled in this bewilderment, spurned on by Fundamentalists who have persistently increased their stranglehold on a denomination that once believed in not only the security of the believer, but also the priesthood of the believer.

So much of the confusion has come from a basic misunderstanding of who we are. If you don’t know who you are, nothing else can fit into place. Like my dad used to say to me, “Remember whose child you are.”


Not saying whether they are right or wrong, but I have heard many, many stories of adopted children, upon reaching adulthood, setting out to find their natural parents. I too have spent much time researching my family’s genealogy. The desire to know where we came from seems to be an innate characteristic of human kind.


Ergo, there has been much confusion about even our very relationship to God. Furthermore, much confusion about our relationship to our Savior. (Not that the two are different, although they are, but that’s another blog.)


Fundamentalists avoid the term “Bride” like the plague! (Name rather than term.) Preferring to use the word “church” almost exclusively. “Church” has become, even at that, interchangeable with “religion.” (Thank you Thomas Jefferson!) “Church” has been applied to everything from Hinduism, Muslimism, Christianity and even the “Church of Satan.”


Now, what could be worse than that? Only one thing I can think of. The misuse, brought on by the misunderstanding, of the word “church” by the very ones who once claimed to be the very “Church of Christ.” (Remember Missionary Baptists?) Many, sadly, especially, specifically, Baptists, have forgotten what the word “church” means. Baptists not only stand guilty of misinterpretation, but of propagating this repugnant misnomer.


Furthermore, any scholar can tell you the Greek word ecclesia is the precise word from which we get “church.” They’ll further explain that the very word means “congregation.” Strangely, many will go on to say that it means both “universal” and “local” seeing no contradiction whatsoever in their polar opposite uses of the word. Now, at best, we may only have a shadow of the mystery of Christ’s Church, but even a poor mathematician like myself knows one plus one equals two.


Much of the confusion seems to come, of course, from our own prejudices, but also from the fact that we ignore what the Bible itself says about the matter. As one preacher I know said, “The Bible is its own best dictionary.” Much of our, (by “our,” I mean, “their,”) misunderstanding comes from clinging to what we were taught by mom & dad, our church or what we learned in our initial walk with God. (Somehow, we think we got it right on the first try.) We cling to our prejudices and preconceptions like a dog bothering a bone!


Peradventure, we walked into a wedding ceremony. Wouldn’t it be easy enough to spot the bride and groom? Aren’t they the ones, holding hands, making promises and standing before the minister? Aren’t they the ones all dressed up as if they are getting married? If we’re unsure, can’t we ask a friend to identify them for us?


Rev 21:9…Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.


The problem for many is, they have their own ideas about the wedding couple and, even when the Scriptures explicitly identify them, they argue, “Oh, no, that’s not them! They don’t look like I was taught to believe they should look.” Even though a mutual friend may point out the two, we still can’t see them when we have our eyes closed.


How can you know the Bride if you don’t even recognize the Groom? How can you know the Groom if you don’t even recognize the Bride? It’s a conundrum! (Though it should not be.)
So, what does the Holy Bible say about who the Bride is? To begin, let’s ask who the Groom is.


Matthew 9:15
And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.


It seems apparent, probably no Christian would argue, that Christ is the Groom. “Christianity 101.” Doesn’t seem complicated.


To continue, if there is a Groom, is He married? (Should be simple, but, oddly enough, some disagreement here.) Yes, but what does the Scripture say?


Romans 7:4
Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.


Mysteriously, the Scripture says we are “married” to Him and each other. Not to oversimplify, but if we recognize the Church is one body, to me that illuminates this apparent ambiguity. (I love oxymorons!)


To continue, who is the Bride? “Who” being the operative word here, as opposed to “what.” This is where things always seem to get sticky!


Revelation 21:
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.


9 And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.
If I told you of the beauty of my bride and said, she was as clear as sunshine and tall like the trees and fresh as a cool mountain spring, would you think her to be a forest? If I introduced her to you, would you see only the description and not the person? What if I had a friend introduce you to her? Would that help?


Shamefully, Fundamentalists, et al., have stubbornly interpreted, professed and proclaimed that the very city in the book of Revelation is an actual, literal city. It matters not one iota to them that the angel actually calls this the “Lamb’s wife.” They cling with a death grip to their teaching that this is some literal city that will one day miraculously drop on top of Jerusalem. To what purpose, I cannot say. I can only imagine they have some twisted desire to sit and gloat over the millions of souls going to Hell around them for a thousand years. Sheesh!


How many times have we used the “streets of gold” and “gates of pearl” as descriptions of Heaven? It pains me to say it, but I have fallen into that trap myself.


So much of the analysis of Scripture can be argued and it is possible to have two different viewpoints on the same scripture and both interpretations be correct. (Remember, if it’s not wrong, it’s right.) Still, some Scripture is painfully obvious and self-defining. At least it is to those with open eyes and open minds.


The best rationalization for why Fundamentalists cling to this interpretation is one given by a particular preacher I know. (I have quoted him on many occasions.) He said, “It’s a Jim Dandy way to sell books about end time prophecy!”


Matthew 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.


Genesis 2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.


Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


Scholars, (guys with books for sale,) credit Moses with Genesis 2:24, saying he inserted it to teach God’s lesson about marriage. Still, if you believe the Bible, you’d be sore pressed to say this statement was incorrect whatever the reason for its insertion at this point. Even our Lord quoted this Scripture in the Gospel. When a man and a woman marry, they become “one flesh”…one body.
Eve was made from Adam’s rib. She became his helpmeet. His mate. Eve came from him. She was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Today, when a man and woman become “one flesh,” the offspring of that relationship is truly, literally, the two becoming one flesh!


John, et al., teach us that the Body of Christ is the Church. He taught that we are even Her children. (Mysterious, is it not?)


2 John 1:1 The elder unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the truth; and not I only, but also all they that have known the truth


He taught us that it is Christ who sanctifies the Church and cleanses Her. He presents Her to Himself, a chaste, pure Bride. This is something she is incapable of doing Herself. He chose Her. She is His Elect!


Ephesians 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.


More than one someone has asked if the Bible should be taken literally or metaphorically. One brilliant response given was that it should be taken seriously. Much of what the Holy Scriptures has to say, we try to moralize, allegorize, literalize or seek some other way of dealing with the puzzles that it has to offer us. Often, more than we can sometimes easily admit, it speaks plainly.


Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.


As surely as He is our Head, we are His Body. Christ had a body while He walked this earth. His body was filled with the Holy Ghost. He was resurrected and raised to Heaven. He left a Body behind, filled with the Holy Ghost, to do His work, greater works than He, works that He could no longer do. His Body is still “of His flesh, and of His bones.”


Ephesians 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.


That Body is resurrected, married, filled with the Holy Ghost and pregnant with the life thereof! The Church of God, the Bride of Christ, is not a harlot who produces offspring with a Man to whom She is not married! She is no mere concubine, brought in for a one night stand, with no rights, privileges or rank and no Covenant with her Spouse. To quote my late Uncle Ulis, “If there has been no marriage ceremony, we are all bastards!”


Luke 1:35 And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.


Ben Franklin said, “You are what you read.” He has been paraphrased, and I think accurately, “You are what you eat.” Now, this would be consistent with the Holy Scripture’s teaching on what the Church eats and drinks. Someone else said, “Garbage in; garbage out.” We would well remember that, as Christians, what we take in is makes us what we are.


When we consume that “living bread,” we consume that which is not only healthy for us spiritually, but that which makes us part of Him. It becomes part of our DNA; part of our blood.


John 6:51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.


I Corinthians 10:17 For we being many are one bread, and one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread.


We who take of the “Lord’s body” worthily, do so to our own health. If we do it in order, in His authority and that of His Bride, we become “one flesh” with Him and with His Congregation. Then, those who are of His will, shall be “added to the Church.”


Acts 2:47 Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.


I Corinthians 11 is some of the most preached out of context Scripture in the Bible. It is normally treated as if Paul is merely meandering from subject to subject. These verses are generally treated as a suite, but should be treated as a segue.


I don’t mean to defame the Apostle’s name, but he and I do have one thing in common. We both often go around the barn to make a point, but we are definitely trying to make a point.


Paul spent this entire chapter discussing order in the family and order in the Church of God. The scripture contained therein referring to the Lord’s Supper is one of the favorites used by many pastors when having a Communion Service. In my opinion, which is what this blog is all about, it would behoove them to both read and preach this entire chapter or avoid it entirely. They certainly shouldn’t pull those few verses out that refer the “Lord's supper” and use them as nothing more than a club with which to bludgeon their congregation.


Our pastors tell their congregants to “examine themselves.” The listeners flee the pew and fill the alter. They then return to their pews, proudly believing, “Yeah, I’m alright with God now.” The truth of the matter is, they can’t make it back to their seats without sin creeping back into their hearts!
Fundamentalist pastors specialize in filling their parishioners with guilt and shame and fear. After all, we’re Baptists. Isn’t that what we do?


I Corinthians 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body


What of those who partake “unworthily“? A word about that: There have always been those who come to the Lord’s table, not for the Lord, but for what is on His table. Like a cat, rushing to its food bowl, never looking up to see from whence the food comes, but only burying its face selfishly in its meal.


They know not the Lord of Hosts! These are cowans and usurpers! Their desire is only to steal the birthright of the Children of Light! Those pretenders who care not for the Lord of the feast, but only for the feast. What is food to the Church of God is poison to all others. What is sustenance for the Bride is detriment to those unbidden.


Neither the King nor the Queen has invited them and, yes, therefore, they drink and eat “unworthily.” Only those summoned by the Bride and the Bridegroom are welcome at His table. One might even say, R.S.V.P.!


Is my table so different from my Lord’s? I don’t allow just anyone to walk through my door and sit at my table with my family. Do you?


No, not all are welcome at the Table of our Lord. Yet, the Children of His Bride are not only welcome, but also commanded to be present and partake. He did not merely suggest it; He expects it.
When my drill sergeant told me that whenever I do a particular thing, whatever that thing may have been, I should do it a certain way, he was expecting me to do as much. I knew an order when I heard one.


1 Corinthians 11:25
After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, this cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me


“As oft as ye drink it…” A recommendation? A good idea? A proffering? It seems to me that when the Lord said these words, He expected us to do as much. In my mind, if the Lord expects something, that qualifies as a command.


He does not want His commands to be disregarded. He does not want Himself to be forgotten!
Of course, this begs the question: Do crackers and juice the Lord’s Supper make? In other words, is the presence of the furnishings of Communion and the performance of the ceremony all that is required of us? Most would say obviously not, but how many would still insist that the old, rotten, stinky, dried up, cold, lifeless, stale, habitual ceremony their church goes through, is somehow pleasing to God?


Isaiah 1:11 To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the Lord: I am full of the burnt offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he goats.


Churches go through this performance, thinking they are doing big business and supposing they are doing exactly what God wants. They do it in a haphazard way with no real thought or attention to the implements they use or the ritual itself. They do it on the cheap! Many even sink so low as to buy those musty prepackaged crackers and the cheapest grape juice they can find. After all, does it really matter? Isn’t it the thought that counts? As my father was fond of saying, “If any way will do, then no way will do just as well.”


If you stop and ponder, you may realize that on any given Sunday when this service is exercised in your church, the reason is simply because it is written into the church bylaws. Can you think of many things more repugnant than going through the motions of this precious ordinance of the Church of Christ than doing it simply because it is ON THE SCHEDULE!


Where is the love? Where is the passion? Where is the romance?


1 Samuel 15:22
And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.


I’m reminded of when Abraham and Isaac went to make sacrifice in the mountains of Moriah. We all know the story how Isaac, unbeknownst to him, was to be the sacrifice. At one point, he looked around himself, taking note of all that they had brought with them. He then said to his father, in so many words, “Father, we have everything for the sacrifice, but the sacrifice.”


Genesis 22:7 And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?


Sadly, we go through the motions and have all the implements of the Lord’s Supper, and, for that matter, worship in general, but we never ask ourselves, “Where is the sacrifice?” We do the things we think we’re supposed to do, but where is the offering? Where is the sacrifice? Frankly, there is only one sacrifice that will suffice. Something, or someone, has to die!


I imagine we will continue to argue and debate within and without concerning this matter, but it is His blood and His body and He gives it to whomever He chooses. All are invited, but not all are welcome!

Inside Baseball

Have you ever tried to explain the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist to a Buddhist? Believe me, it’s worse than pulling teeth! All they understand is that we both believe Jesus died on a cross and was raised from the dead. The subtleties fly over their heads like inside baseball.

It’s much the same when dealing with what I refer to as “Fundamentalism.” The outside world can’t understand what they view as insignificant subtleties. That’s why I have been called a “Fundamentalist” by non-believers and a “liberal” and unbeliever by good old Baptists, et al.

It’s not a matter, or at least it shouldn’t be, of eschatology or what version of the Bible we prefer. It goes much deeper than that. It really deals with the age old formula: “You don’t believe like I do, so you don’t believe.” It’s much like I’ve taught my daughter, Natalie, about people who “know” things: be afraid; be very afraid! Because, if you don’t know what they “know,” then you’re…pick your poison: lost, stupid, liberal, backslidden. This has been my experience.

We all have our weakness, myself in the lead, but my point is, if there is a worst trap of all, which there appears to be, it’s if we decide that those who don’t agree, don’t believe. When a fellow Christian tells me, by connotation or by plain speech, because I disagree with his or her particular interpretation of the Holy Scriptures, that I don’t believe the Bible, I think you can comprehend the danger contained therein.

Something I Really Hated to Do!

I did something recently that I really hated to do. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’m certain that it’s something I’ve never done before. I pray it’s something I never have to do again.

I work with a young Fundamentalist man. He’s half my age physically and spiritually, chonologically speaking, only one tenth. (Not that that matters.) The point is, he is impossible to talk to if you don’t tow his Fundamentalist line.

Let’s call him….Jerry Lee.

Jerry Lee and I have had many conversations about the Lord and the Bible. He is, I think, very sincere and studious. Many times, he has sought me out for my opinion on spiritual matters as I have done to him. All in all, we’ve had a very good relationship, but there have been times of, shall we say, stress. Our discussions, on occasion, have gotten testy, but I’ve never been one to back down from a fight and have always relished the give and take of differing thoughts. Jerry, sad to say, is not that thick skinned. (This also makes him typical of Fundamentalists.)

My first clue that Jerry Lee was one of “those people,“ was when he, after knowing me for only a matter of weeks, decided that it was time to corner me and tell me just how carnal I am. He started to accuse and attack before I knew what hit me. Well, I am prideful enough that I refused to sit still for that. I explained that he knew nothing about me and I’d appreciate it if he would not sit in judgment of me, since I felt that wasn’t his place. I further explained that he had not known me long enough to be that familiar. It was not an easy conversation.

Well, Jerry Lee backed off and I hoped that this would not put undue stress on our relationship. It seemed that we both got over it.

Now Jerry Lee, as we’ll call him, is one of those pre-millennial, King James only, fire-and-brimstone breathin', sinner hatin', (my words,) pew hoppin’, dancing-with-a-potted-plant Fundamentalists. (Yes, he once bragged about his pastor running around the sanctuary, clutching a potted plant.) The kind that has caused me, over the years, to take a certain amount of offense at when counted among their numbers.

On more than one occasion, Jerry Lee has become beyond extremely irritated with me. He would become bent out of shape with me, as well as others, if we didn’t surrender the floor completely, allowing him ramble on and on about his views. Worse yet, he would, on a regular basis, get so angry with me that he would just stomp off in full pout. Once, he didn’t speak to me for three days. I finally caught him alone, and told him that I was sorry if I hurt his feelings and that I thought we should bury the hatchet. After that, we pretty much returned to our standard back-and-forth.

Well, this worked, more or less, for a while. Occasionally, though, Jerry would get angry again and march off in a huff. I tried to tell him, probably not as patiently as I should’ve, that he needed to toughen up and that if he couldn’t take it from me, he didn’t stand a chance against sinners. Needless to say, that didn’t go over as well as I had hoped.

Regretfully, after that incident, I spent the next almost three months going out of my way to avoid any sort of religious discussions with Jerry. Gladly, our relationship continued to be amiable, but anytime he started quoting scriptures to me or anyone else in my presence, I simply cut out.

I wasn’t sure if he was taking the hint, but I no longer desired to reenter any sort of conflagration with him concerning religious matters. I tried to keep in mind that Jerry is a relatively young Christian and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt his, frankly, all too tender feelings. Sometimes, even when you’re right, you can be wrong. Being an offense to him, no matter who was right or wrong, was not the role I felt like playing.

Well, just recently, I was alone at the sales counter when Jerry Lee appeared and began asking me questions about what I thought about some preacher and his daughter and her revealing clothes and him, the preacher, being a “double married” preacher and a bunch of other hooey coming at me too fast to keep up with. I smiled, mumbled, “uh, huh,” and started making my move away from him. Regretfully, he wouldn’t be denied. He persistently followed me across the floor, incessantly asking me crazy, annoying questions about Lord only knows what!

At this point, I surveyed the storefront, determining that there was no one there but the Lord and us. That’s when it happened!

I said that I just really believed it best if he and I didn’t discuss anything of a spiritual nature, (or words to that affect.) Of course, he was shocked and asked me why not. I asked him not to ask. He pushed the matter further. I tried to walk away. He followed. He said that he wanted to know why and practically demanded that I explain.

So, I told him that I was sick of looking at the back of his head every time I said something he didn’t like. I chided him that he needed to be thicker skinned and not to start discussions with me that would only make him mad. I continued about how rude it is to just slog off from a debate or even an argument. Especially if you are the one who instigated it. As you can imagine, the conversation completely deteriorated at this point.

I tried to tell Jerry Lee, even through my agitation and exasperation, that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I told him that I realize he is a young Christian and, perhaps, not as strong as he might one day be. I tried to tell him that the last thing I wanted to be to him is a stumbling block. That’s why I was trying to avoid getting into anything with him. (He wasn’t listening.) I did tell him that I was praying for him and believed that he was praying for me and that we should leave it at that.

During the entire episode, I could feel my heart racing faster and faster and my stomach was tightening by the moment. My hands were shaking and, no doubt, my voice was quivering. I desperately wanted to avoid this confrontation! I know I didn’t handle it as calmly as I should’ve. Nope, not by a long shot!

He tried to repeat some mishmash about how important my opinion is to him and how much it hurt him for me to laugh at him. (A ploy he had attempted before.) I pointed out, as in times past, that I laugh at everyone including myself. I closed the conversation by stating that I will laugh at him again if we have any more of these debates. Therefore, if he didn’t like what I had to say, he should simply not start any more arguments with me.

Well, I’m glad to say we were interrupted and that was pretty much the end of that. I was fretful for the rest of the day and worried if I had done the right thing. (I still wonder about that.)

I didn’t see him for an hour and I puzzled if he would still be speaking to me. I was told that he was complaining about someone, someone he said he wasn’t going to speak to again. When asked who that “someone” was, he lied and said “Joe.”

To his credit, when I saw him later, we spoke briefly, but cordially. We even sort of cut up about some work related stuff as we are wont to do.

Not long afterward, I stumbled onto a religious conversation he was having with another employee. I think I caught the end of a scripture quotation. Jerry Lee seemed to cut his eyes toward me cautiously as I approached and the conversation waned. At least, I reckon that’s what happened.

Now, it’s been a few weeks since this incident. Jerry Lee and I speak to one another on a regular basis and even cut about things of work and things of the world. Still, we don’t speak of things of the other World.

Fundamentalists and You

So much of what happens in Christianity is like “inside baseball.” It makes perfect sense to the fanatics who love and understand the game, (whoever they are,) but to the layman, the outsider, it’s all just a bunch of gibberish.

I once tried to explain the difference between Catholics and Baptists to a Japanese girl who was raised a Buddhist, but wasn’t really sure if she believed anything. I was a complete failure. All she could understand was that we both believe in Jesus.

Another difficult thing to explain is the difference between a Fundamentalist and, well, the rest of us. Now, if you are among the multitudes of lost souls who are on the outside looking in, you most likely see little if any difference. You certainly wouldn’t see what all the controversy is about. Don’t we all believe in Jesus?

A man I once thought I knew, whom I thought was wise, once told me, “There are some things I won’t even argue about. There are some things I will argue about. There are some things I will die for.” I think having the wisdom and discretion to know and relate the difference, is a challenge for most Christians. Especially when dealing with the profane.

Well, some differences simply aren’t worth worrying about. Some are desperately worth our concern. Just because someone can’t tell the difference doesn’t mean there is no difference. The question is only, are those differences worth the fight.

Many unbelievers or even believers with whom I engage in any sort of religious combat don’t understand why I am so repulsed by their attempt to label me as a Fundamentalist. They sometimes say, “Don’t you believe in Jesus?” Immediately, the answer is yes, but to attempt to explain further can, at times, be completely frustrating! There are some distinctions, very important ones at that, that cannot be explained in a simple enough sentence to allow their ignorant minds to comprehend the gravity, or lack thereof, of our disagreements.

While I do believe the KJV is inspired by God and that He actually built the universe in six days, they cannot seem to get it through their heads that there are massive differences between the average Fundamentalist and myself. I don’t like being called a Fundamentalist anymore than a Georgian likes being called a Tennessean. The average Yankee may not know the difference, but here in “Jesus Land,” we certainly do. After the same manner, simply because there is a similarity in doctrines, the discerning eye, the receptive heart and attentive ear will promptly observe the contrasts.

So, allow me, if you will, to enumerate some of the problems I find with “Fundamentalists” and the things to which they so passionately adhere. Some, I find laughable. Others, I occasionally, find revolting still, others are anathema to God’s Holy Scriptures.

1. Fundamentalists refer to the Bible as the “Word of God” when the Bible doesn’t even make that claim.

2. Fundamentalists say they take the Bible “literally”…except when they don’t.

3. Fundamentalists believe the book of Revelation is the last book of the Bible.

4. Fundamentalists believe a woman can’t be a pastor simply because she can’t be the “husband of one wife.”

5. Fundamentalists believe the “New Jerusalem” is Heaven.

6. Fundamentalists believe there are horses in Heaven.

7. Fundamentalists believe the streets of Heaven are paved with gold.

8. Fundamentalists think they’ll actually have a big house in Heaven.

9. Fundamentalists get angry when you disagree with them. They sometimes go so far as to say, “You don’t believe the Bible,” or “You must be lost,” or even, “You’re stupid!”

10. Fundamentalists believe the KJV is the “Bible” and all other versions are straight out of Hell.

11. Fundamentalists like to jump pews, love preachers who go “hah-hooey,” and think it’s really great when a preacher grabs a potted plant and runs around the sanctuary with it.

12. Fundamentalists don’t really know anyone outside of their little circles who are actually living right.

13. Fundamentalists have no doubt that Jesus retains the scars in His hands from His crucifixion. For some reason though, He doesn’t bear any of the scars from his beatings.

14. Fundamentalists believe Lucifer is Satan.

15. Fundamentalists believe that angels once had relations with human women and made babies who became giants.

16. Fundamentalists think that Satan was once God’s “number one” angel.

17. Fundamentalists say that when Jesus told the thief on the cross, “This day, thou shalt be with me in Paradise,” He didn’t mean Heaven.

18. Fundamentalists claim that there was a place between Heaven and Hell where God kept the Saints of old before the resurrection. No, I don’t mean Purgatory.

19. Fundamentalists tell poor, lost Jews that they are still “God’s people.”

20. Fundamentalists are more concerned with your sin than your salvation.

Certainly, not every mark of a Fundamentalist is in this list and not having all of them doesn’t disqualify you from fitting very neatly into this crowd. Yet, these are some of the symptoms I’ve found most egregious from my soirees into the dangerous world of modern American Christian Fundamentalism. A.K.A. the Fundamentalist Zone.

The Meat of the Gospel

Fundamentalists crack me up! They think the "meat" of the Gospel is "prophecy," or, at least, what they regard as prophecy. Personally, I think it's not that all.

I'm reminded of something I heard Mike Warnke say some years ago. He said that when a woman comes up to you and confesses she used to be a man, but just got saved and doesn't know what to do, "you'd better have some Jesus on tap."

It's not your ability to quote exhaustive eschatalogical books or draw complicated charts on your living room wall or juxtapose scripture passages with the front page of your local newspaper. It's about real people in a real world who need real hope. They don't need platitudes or mock profundity. What they really need is compassion and lovingkindness. Now, to me, that's the meat of the Gospel.

Quoting is always easier than caring. I will be the first to say, being involved is easier said that done. Still, it's impossible to hit the target when so many Christians don't even know what the target is.

Jeremiah 31:3
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.